” I will bestow My blessing upon you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars of heaven and the sands on the sea-shore…” [Genesis 22.17]
So, I was able to make it to my second Torah study tonight. It’s so funny. This is one of those things I’ve always been jealous of my Christian friends for having. It’s simple: A group of peers who get together, and fumble through the text. The format that our study has now is basically as follows:
[1] Sparksnotes-esque overview of the parsha (usually with 100 interruptions of questions, thoughts, funny stories)
[2] Thought provoking questions that mainly begin with “why?” This week, a big one was “WHY would Abraham agree to slaughter his son for HaShem?” or “WHY is it OK to give away your daughters to strange men who are trying to have sex with men?”
[3] Real-life stories or scenarios that come to mind when reading the parsha. Tonight, we told stories about times we’ve bargained with HaShem, much as Abraham bargained with HaShem over Sodom and Gomorrah. Most stories told were those regarding life-and-death scenarios.
It’s so funny to be living out this dream of mine. It’s everything I could hope for. It’s not that there aren’t other Torah study groups around, but this is a group of my peers. We have more questions than answers. The very nature of the gathering just feels so authentically Jewish to me.
Now, maybe it’s because we hold them at Whole Foods, where the food is yummy, but I think there’s another reason why I leave each week feeling so nourished.
I think that there is an inherent trust and bravery that comes with a lay-person led Torah study. None of us are experts. None of us have deep hebraic wisdom. We come together to wander through the Torah as we find it. We bring our experiences, our minds, and our personal jewishness to the table. Some people don’t even bring the text. They just listen and give input. Everyone finds their own way to participate. It’s so pure and real. It’s not about people displaying their Torah egos or belittling anyone else’s questions or thought processes. It’s fellowship. More than anything, what I crave more of in my jewish life is fellowship and the intimate, casual, friendly nature of my weekly Torah study is giving it to me.
This week I am left with the following thoughts. All of which are words requiring definitions.
GOD- Who/what is this noun that we speak of?
Miracles- Providing a lamb in lieu of human sacrifice? Saving a city from destruction?
Torah– A set of stories meant to give a clear-cut moral? A tomb of antiquated tales? A confusing novel meant to keep us searching?
I’m thrilled to be engaging weekly with my Judaism. I feel connected and secured. More than anything else right now, I feel like that fellowship is the biggest gift Torah has given me.
And You Shall Love 